Just a Dream...

Yesterday was a rough day for me and I'm not even sure why. I found myself constantly putting food in my mouth. It wasn't until later that night that I realized I had been thinking about my little boy a lot that day. I had watched a show that reminded me of him and he was on my mind all day. Emotional eating. I went to bed feeling terrible, both physically and emotionally. I was literal sick and felt disgusted by myself.
I fell asleep praying for some kind of insight, a glimpse of my potential and abilities. I prayed to be able to see myself as my Father in Heaven sees me.
I woke up in the morning having just had a dream. In the dream I had been kidnapped and taken to a room where I was then restrained. I looked down at my wrists and saw that instead of ropes I was secured by a string tied in a simple bow. I then looked down and saw that my phone was laying right next to me. How easy it would have been for me to untie myself and pick up my phone and call for help. Instead I sat there looking at the bow and the phone and chose to stay. I chose to stay in bondage. It was all up to me. I was in control, and I chose to stay a captive. It was totally up to me and I did nothing.
I woke up and just laid there for a minute and let it all sink in. As it all sank in I realized I feel like I am being held captive by my weight. Sometimes I feel like a prisoner, my own prisoner. I am holding myself captive. It is all me. I make the choices that keep me locked up.
I still don't understand the thought process of it all, I mean I know it is my choice. But that dream helped me see it clearer. I just have to chose to loosen that bow and get it done.
He sees my potential. He knows I can break free. He sees my strength. I just need to see it for myself. I will continue praying that I see myself the way He sees me, but until then I am going to remember my dream and make the choice to set myself free.