TMI...Consider Yourself Warned

So now that the pregnancy has been announced I have things to say.
Anyone that reads this blog at all knows that I have been trying to get healthier and lose some weight. We we talked about having a baby I was very apprehensive. I still had weight to lose and I knew I needed to so that I could have a healthier pregnancy when the time came. I put off the thought for a while hoping that I could get in a better place. Well the thought of having another baby kept coming and it was getting harder to deny it. I was still very worried about my weight and was having a hard time accepting that I needed to have a baby.
I finally decided that I would keep preventing pregnancy until the prescription ran out and then I wouldn't get another. I told myself that I would keep trying to lose weight until I got pregnant. Well guess what? It took like no time to get pregnant. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I never would have thought it would have happened right off the bat. I was only half way ready. 

I wrote this a couple months ago:

February 4, 2014

Last Friday (January 31st)I took a pregnancy test. It was positive! I am pregnant. I have a swirl of emotions going on right now. The thought of another child joining our family is exciting and nerve wracking. It happened really fast. There really was no "trying". I wasn't sure it was what I wanted when I first went off the pill. I decided that I would go off the pill and try to lose as much weight as I could until I got pregnant and then I would just eat healthy and be as active as possible.
The second I saw the positive result I knew that I wanted it. I want my baby. And as soon as the love and desire to have this baby entered my heart so did the fear. I know most women deal with some anxiety when it comes to pregnancy, but I think it is worse for those of us that have lost babies before. I constantly look for any sign of pregnancy to reassure myself. If I notice I haven't had sore breasts or felt sick I get all worried. I hate this part of pregnancy. I like the later months when I can feel the baby move and know that it is alright. I am constantly running to the bathroom. Most of the time to pee, but sometimes just to check and make sure there isn't any blood. The thought that this baby won't make it has nearly consumed me and left my stomach in knots. I am doing my best to be positive and remain faithful and hopeful, but it is hard. Deep breaths and taking each day one minute at a time is helping. 

I had really good intentions to stay active and eat healthy and then the sickness and the exhaustion kicked in and I had no motivation. Plus I have been having those dang round ligament pains that make walking uncomfortable. I just hope that I can stay healthy this pregnancy and make sure I take care of myself and the baby.