I'm Not Listening!

I have heard it countless times (as I'm sure most of us have) that Satan doesn't want me to be happy. He doesn't want me to love my body or take care of it. He wants me to be unhappy and feel uncomfortable and even feel shame for my body. Every time I heard those things they kind of got filed away in the back of my mind and no real thought was given. Well this morning it all came back to me. I was in the bathroom shaking the sleep from my eyes and I looked in the mirror and the thought came to my mind "You know who doesn't want you to succeed. You know who is happy seeing you struggle. You know who wants you to hate your body." Suddenly I got it. I got it. I fight him in every other part of my life and now I was finally ready to fight him in this. So in my hot mess fitness class this morning when we split up into teams and he told me my team didn't want the "fat girl" on their team I promptly said "I'm not listening". When he told me that there was no way I could do it I said "I'm not listening". When he told me to give up I told him "I'm not listening". When he told me they were cheering for me out of pity I told him "I'm not listening!". When he told me it was selfish to fight for myself I told him "I'm not listening!".
I'm not listening to him anymore. I am choosing to hear the support and the love from those around me instead of his negativity.
This morning we circled up and shared what we were grateful for. I had prepared something and was ready to say something else when I heard myself say I was grateful to be me. Tia made me repeat myself not once, but twice. The third time saying it I couldn't hold back the tears. It had been eight weeks of waking up before 5am and working hard, facing my own weakness, conquering the fatigue, pushing through the pain, yelling that I am awesome, accepting that I am worth it, letting go of my negativity, and accepting the love and support of others. Eight weeks and I was grateful to be me. I didn't lose weight, I didn't drop a pants size. I gained so much more than I lost. When this session started I knew I needed to be there. And I was right.
So the next time those nasty little thoughts pop up that tell me I'm not worth it or I can't do it I am just going to say "I'm not listening!".