I Danced

So my last post was a couple months ago and I talked about deciding to chose the good hard and step outside myself and dance in a benefit concert. Well, if you are on the facebook friendship level with me chances are you are well aware that I did indeed dance. On a stage. In front of people. Twice. It was nerve wracking and so good all at the same time. It was scary and then I rode the high of it the rest of the evening. I am so glad I did it. Not only did I overcome insecurities, fears, and anxieties to do it I also helped raise some money (over $11,000) for a family in need of support. Plus I got to do it with some ladies that are some of the most amazing ladies I have ever met. They are so encouraging and caring. I couldn't have done it without them! If you haven't had the opportunity to watch the videos of the dance you can watch one here, here, or here.

I have also been taking a little journey to explore some of my insecurities. For as long as I can remember I have felt like I didn't necessarily belong or fit in wherever I found myself. It was always the group and me. I felt like I had to entertain, put on a show just so they would want me around or remember who I was. My greatest fear was being forgotten. Other people would talk about worrying about finding their class or forgetting their locker combination. Well I was always worried about walking into class and there being no record of me. I worried I wouldn't be on the role, and no one would know who I was or where I was supposed to be. I have been working on it and trying to resolve those feelings. I'm making progress, slowly.
I attended a healing conference a few months ago and one of the keynote speakers, Kirk Duncan, talked about how making connections with people was one of the most Christ-like things we could do. Christ was accepting of all, he turned no one away. I imagine He would make eye contact and engage with anyone and everyone. I have made it a goal to try to resist my natural urge to step to the side instead of connecting with people. Along with that Kirk Duncan also talked about assuming people like you until they tell you other wise. I think we all struggle with wondering if people like us or not and how our perception of their acceptance effects us. I have decided to assume everyone likes me until they tell me other wise. I think operating under this assumption makes it a lot easier to connect with people. I have some things to work on, but I am ready to take them on. It feels good to know I am making changes and seeing the results!