My Victory!

So I read this article the other day. I pretty much love C. Jane. She is very in tune with her world and is always studying and seeking insights. I wish I were more like that. Anyway, she is not the focus of this post, although she did inspire it.
In the article she talks about seeing a woman at a pool walking without shame even though her body wasn't up to the standards society has imposed upon us. This woman appeared to be very comfortable in her skin and didn't seem to care what others might think about her. That inspired C. Jane to get up and take a walk herself. While her walk ended differently than she had hoped she still came away from it holding her head a bit higher.
Well today I took the challenge!
Sterling suggested we go swimming for fun tonight and my first response was no. I started thinking about it and asked myself if the only reason I was saying no was because of my body. I decided that yes, that was the only reason. Then I remembered the article and I knew what I had to do. I said I was in and went to search for my suit (well, not really suit...more like a tank top and tennis skirt). I was nervous to walk out there, and having my daughter laugh at my "big belly" didn't help matters either.

I gathered my things and ignored my impulse to hold the towel or bag in front of myself and I walked out to the pool. As luck would have it the only available chairs were all the way around on the opposite side so I got to strut my stuff for just about everyone. Once I got over the initial awkwardness of it it turned out to be liberating. I noticed that no one was staring, no one was whispering as I walked past. All of that stuff was in my head! While I still wasn't completely comfortable I still felt confident. I felt good. I think we might even venture back to the pool this summer.
So here's to conquering one demon! I am claiming this victory for me and my body!